By ABBIE JURY
I try to be very selective about issues on which I express an opinion publicly beyond my gardening columns, but I was sorely tempted when I read a letter to the August issue of the New Zealand Gardener magazine. Written by New Plymouth’s foremost member of the Gnome Garden Brigade, the writer claimed that the heavily ornamented gardens being promoted in the Fringe Festival now on here were “unique to Taranaki” and that they provided a “cultural experience”.
My pen itched to reply. All I wanted to say was: “I hope not. How embarrassing.”
The Fringe Festival (dubbed the Cringe Festival here) is running alongside our well established Garden and Rhododendron Festival which finishes tomorrow. It grew out of gardens which were declined by the established event and tended to attract those who favour ornaments over plants. In the case of the letter to the Gardener, discretion ruled and I kept silent (until now). But it did spawn many running gags here. We were a bit concerned about the rumours of the conversion to radical Islam and the establishment of sleeper cells of gnomes waiting to be activated by Al Qaeda. Foreign Affairs, we hypothesized, might put out a warning to garden visitors asking them to be their eyes and ears this year. But should any visitor encounter gnomes wearing backpacks or heavy anoraks, they were under no circumstances to approach either the gnome or the garden owner. The advice would surely be to exit immediately and call the counter terrorism unit.
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